nick drake

nick drake is one of my favorite singer-songwriters.
to qoute from wikipedia: "Drake is known for his gentle, autumnal songs and his virtuoso right hand finger picking technique. Although he recorded only three albums, critics and fellow musicians held his work in very high esteem. Drake failed to find a wide audience during his lifetime, though, which fed his severe clinical depression. Since his death, Drake’s music has gained a significant cult following."

i have the cd: "way to blue: an introduction to nick drake" - which is very good place to begin with, if you are interested in his work.
posting the lyrics of my favorite nick drake song - "northern sky":

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.

I've been a long time that I'm waiting
I've been a long time that I'm blown
I've been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.

Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.

ps - this song plays in the movie "serendipity" (released in 2001, starring john cusack and kate beckinsale) in the last scene where the lead pair eventually reunite in the skating rink.

my 2nd WRPI-MOI playlist

hosted the "melodies of india" popular section on wrpi today. the playlist is as follows:

1. whats goin' on - vishal shekhar (salaam namaste - 2005)
2. tumse milke - r d burman (parinda - 1989)
3. hothon pe bas - dilip sen sameer sen (yeh dillagi - 1994)
4. kabhi tanhaiyon mein - snehal bhaktar (hamari yaad aayegi - 1961)
5. en kadhal - yuvan shankar raja (pop carn - tamil)
6. kahin karti hogi - r d burman (phir kab milogi - 1974)
7. tanhaai mein base - lucky ali (kabhi aisa lagta hai - 2004)
8. alli billi kalala raave - illayaraja (chettu kinda pleader - telugu)
9. ek ladki thi - a r rahman (love you hamesha - 2001)
10. urzu urzu durkut - shantanu moitra (yahaan - 2005)
11. kaun hai jo sapnon mein aaya - shankar jaikishan (jhuk gaya aasmaan - 1968)
12. taal se taal mila {western} - a r rahman (taal - 1999)
13. maahi ve - anand raaj anand (kaante - 2002)

krishnamurti on love

jiddu krishnamurti is considered one of the greatest philosophical minds of the 20th century. he spent his entire adult life giving passionate discourses on the myriad ways the human mind turns to self-delusion in its never-ending search for psychological fulfillment.

i have read some of his books, and his philosophy makes a lot of sense to me. i personally agree with his views so to say. i think he basically says the same thing as most advaitic traditions like zen, tao, ramana maharishi, osho, vipassana buddhism, etc. although his approach can be sometimes a bit hard to understand. if you want to learn about his teachings, i would recommend the book "think on these things". i think its a pretty good introduction to him.

thought i'd give a link to one of his talks, this is on one of the greatest mysteries of all - love. click HERE to read it.

urdu poetry - ghazals

after posting the previous ghalib's ghazal it occured to me to write something about urdu poetry and ghazals. (also to help kill time on a lazy saturday afternoon)

urdu poetry - ie ghazal - is my favorite form of poetry. i could never really relate to english poetry, for some reason it has hardly ever evoked the same emotions in me like hindi or urdu poetry. by hindi poetry i mean the film/non-film songs from bollywood movies, but most of which is actually in urdu - there are very few pure hindi words in bollywood songs. and by urdu poetry i specifically mean ghazals written by urdu poets like mirza ghalib, mir taqi mir, sahir ludhiyanavi, gulzar, momin, sharyar etc. to name a few.

the real beauty of urdu ghazals can never be captured in a translated version. the same ghazal can have multiple interpretations at different levels. one has to know the language and the vocabulary to really appreciate the poets emotions and sentiments. i consider myself very lucky that because of my knowledge of hindi, i can understand urdu poetry, given the meanings of the words.

i think urdu is a very royal language, the way it sounds it really seems very poetic and royal. urdu is said to have developed in the army camps of the delhi sultanat and mughal empire, by interaction between persian and indian soldiers. its vocabulary consists mainly of persian and hindi words, and it can be written or understood through both the persian script and the hindi devanagari script.

a ghazal is poetic form (usually in urdu) consisting of couplets which share a rhyme and refrain. ghazals were written by persian mystics like rumi as well as famous urdu poets like ghalib and mir. most ghazals are on the sublect of love, not any kind of love, but specifically an uttainable love. so most ghazals deal mainly with "ishq" (love), "gham" (pain/sadness), and related themes like "hijr" (separation), "tanhaaii" (lonliness), "khwaaish" (desire/longing), "intezaar" (the wait), "visaal" (union with beloved) etc. so in other words most ghazals are kind of sad, but not depressing.

the love expressed in ghazals is always viewed as something that will complete the being, and if attained will bring satisfaction to the soul of the poet. traditional ghazals' love does not have an element of sexual desire in it, the love is seen as spiritual. the ghazal is usually written from the point of view of the lover who is unable to attain his beloved. the lover is aware and resigned to this fate, but continues loving nonetheless. it is not important to the lover that the beloved does not echo the same feelings towards him.

also i should mention here that most ghazal poets were either avowed sufis themselves, or were sympathizers of sufi ideas. most ghazals can be viewed in a spiritual context, with the beloved being a metaphor for god, or the poet's spiritual master. it is the intense divine love of sufism that serves as a model for all the forms of love found in ghazal poetry.

ps - some of the above has been taken from wikipedia.

ghalib - phir kuchh is dil ko

select couplets from one of mirza ghalib's most famous ghazals.

phir kuchh is dil ko beqaraarii hai
siinaa zoyaa-e-zakhm-e-kaarii hai

[phir=again, beqaraarii=uneasiness/restlessness, sinaa=chest, zoya=seeker, zakhm-e-kaarii=deep wound]

phir jigar khodane lagaa naakhun
aamad-e-fasl-e-laalaakaarii hai

[jigar=heart/liver, khodana=to dig, naakhun=nails, aamad=arrival, fasl=season/harvest, laalaakaarii=reddish]

qiblaa-e-maqsad-e-nigaah-e-niyaaz
phir vahii pardaa-e-ammaarii hai

[qiblaa=direction of kaaba, maqsad=goal/purpose, nigaah=look/sight, niyaaz=desire, pardaa=curtain, ammaarii=rider's seat with a canopy on an elephant or camel]

chashm-e-dallal-e-jins-e-rusavaaii
dil khariidaar-e-zauq-e-khvaarii hai

[chashm=eye, dallal=broker, jins=things/items, rusavaaii=bad name/humiliation, khariidaar=buyer, zauq=taste, khvaarii=poor/deserted]

vahii sad-rang naalaa farsaaii
vahii sad-guunaa ashq-baarii hai

[sad=hundred, naalaa farsaaii=lamenter, sad-guunaa=hundred times, ashq-baarii=lamentation/crying]

jalvaa phir arz-e-naaz karataa hai
roz-e-baazaar-e-jaan-supaarii hai

[jalvaa=splendour; arz=appeal/request, naaz=airs/gracefulness, roz=daily, baazaar=marketplace, jaan-sipaarii=resigning one's life into the hands of another]

phir usii bevafaa pe marate hain
phir vahii zindagii hamaarii hai

[bevafaa=ungrateful/unfaithful]

ho rahaa hai jahaan mein andher
zulf kii phir sarishtaa-daarii hai

[jahaan=world, andher=darkness, zulf=hair, sarishtaa-daarii=a regulator's position]

phir diyaa paaraa-e-jigar ne savaal
ek fariyaad-o-aah-o-zaarii hai

[paaraa=fragment, savaal=question, fariyaad=plea, aah=sigh, zaarii=started]

phir hue hain gavaah-e-ishq talab
ashq-baarii kaa hukm-zaarii hai

[gavaah-e-ishq=witnesses of love, talab=called, ashq-baarii=lamentation, hukm=order]

bekhudii besabab nahiin 'Ghalib'
kuchh to hai jis kii pardaadaarii hai

[bekhudii=rapture, besabab=vithout any reason, pardaadaarii=to hide]

marriage compatibility and astrology

now i believe in astrology in general (indian or vedic astrology in particular) and that it works - particularly in the case of marriage compatibility.
the indian system uses nakshatras, which are 27 starclusters or constellations that lie along the path of the sun. an individual's nakshatra, or birth star, is the constellation the moon was aligned with at the time of birth. this is equivalent to the 12 zodiac constellations and the sun sign which is the sign of the zodiac that the sun was in at the time of the birth.

i should mention here that one should differentiate between the science of astrology and its practitioners. its equivalent to saying - if you don't believe in/understand say quantum physics, it doesn't necessarily mean the science is wrong, maybe the person teaching it is unable to interpret/explain it properly. i think astrological predictions have much to do with the personality and talent of the astrologer. and moreover astrology is a probabalistic science, one can never predict individual futures with absolute certainty.

why i believe in astrology - i don't know, guess it makes sense to me at some level. i recently came across this passage from a site and am posting it here - i have forgotten the site address, do keep in mind that i am quoting directly from the site.

"Prasna Marga states, "If the couple loves each other, they can enter into wedlock, even if there is no agreement in other ways. This is very important in the matter of marriage. One who loves a girl sincerely, from his heart should marry her. Pure love is greater than any other virtue."

This is to say that you should marry whom you want, but that does not mean that your compatibility should be ignored. It does not mean that love will remove the blemishes of poor compatibility. It only means that if you think it is worth having the relationship, even in the face of greater than average difficulties, you should. Poor compatibility indicates that the price of the relationship will be higher. It will take more time, energy, work, patience, and there will be more distress and ups and downs if your compatibility is poor. If you find it worth paying that price, then you should go ahead with the relationship. Look at the compatibility in order to really see what the relationship is, to really see if you want the relationship, and to see if you can realistically do what is necessary. The average person finds a relationship that fails Vedha, Rajju, Strii-Diirgha or Points eventually becomes more than they can realistically handle, so if any of these are missing, take a very good look at your relationship.

This is also to say that even if the compatibility is good, if one or both of you cannot love and relate healthily then you will not be able to take advantage of a good compatibility. If the compatibility is good and you are still having problems you will have to take a good hard look at yourselves. The good news is, that if the compatibility is good, any work you do on yourself will support and benefit the relationship. The relationship will also be a better arena for you to learn what you need in as healthy a manner as possible. If on the other hand, the compatibility is not good, then even if you work on yourself the relationship will not benefit much, or even at all, and you will find yourself in situations with your partner that really bring out the worst.

The important point about this method of compatibility is that, it indicates whether the relationship will flow in such a manner as to create mutual respect. Out of respect grows love, out of disrespect grow hurt feelings and frustration. When it comes to arranged marriages, this compatibility is, therefore, obviously important. When it comes to modern society that marries out of love, it is equally important, because after years of mutual disrespect many, many couples that once loved each other divorce. Mutual respect is the key to all human relationships, because from that grows real love."

i guess that is why most indian arranged marriages work, because all such marriages take place only after matching the astrological charts of the bride and the groom. i also have a previous post on marriage compatiblity. you can read it HERE.

sri sri on boredom

this is what sri sri ravi shankar (of "art of living" fame) had to say on boredom in one of his talks:

"only a conscious, alert and dynamic person can get bored; a dull and inert person does not. if you get bored, it indicates you are more alive and human. it is a sign that you are growing, that you are evolving.

an animal, for example, keeps doing the same thing. it never gets bored. cows, horses, birds do the same things over and over throughout their lives.

people eat, watch television, change jobs, change partners to escape boredom. then they become frustrated and this frustration takes them back to inertia and unconsciousness.

only in two states does boredom not occur: in a state of total inertia or in a state of Divine consciousness. if you are bored, it indicates you are evolving. boredom moves you. be proud of your boredom and celebrate!"

mundane stuff in my life right now

its about 12 in the night, been trying to sleep for more than a hour. haven't been able to sleep well for the past 2 nights because of this cough i've had. so today while i sip this hot honey water i just made for myself, think for a change i will blog about the mundane things going on in my life.

hmmm... firstly i've had this mild fever, pain in my throat, dry cough (without any phlegm) and slight body-ache since sunday morning. its strange - i never had this before. i usually get a throat infection with lots of phlegm, the throat is my weak point. this time the cough is not bad, its very sporadic so i've been able to still go to lab and do my experiments. today in my math class at 2, just some 10 mintues into the class i suddenly had this coughing fit, i just couldn't stop coughing and my throat felt really bad. i distinctly felt like something in the room was irritating my throat. or maybe it was the class itself. so i decided to just walk out of the class. initially i thought i'll come back but then decided against that - it was anyway a very boring class. so i went and got these halls lemon-honey candies. i then had the brain-wave to go to the library and get some dvds for this weekend. so i went and got "indochine" and "moonstruck" - couldn't find any better ones, and also a novel "the moon is a harsh mistress" by robert heinlein. i haven't been in the novel reading mode for sometime now, but thought let me see if i can go back to reading, since i've got nothing better to do at home nowadays.

so anyway my mom called me some time ago and enquired about my health. and she told me to have hot milk with pepper before going to sleep and that will help me sleep. and also after that my good friend satt (read - the only really close one) called me up and told me the recipes for some "n" ayurvedic home remedies and it turned out that i didn't have all the ingredients for any of them at home. after his call i went to make some milk with pepper and found that we were out of milk. so i had to settle for hot water with honey.

also while writing this i am listening to songs from illayaraja's new tamil movie "twinkle twinkle little star". i think that maestro illayaraja is the greatest composer to ever set foot on earth. this album of his reminds of his 90s hit anjali.

tonight i made palak paneer for dinner. it came out pretty good. my roomie initially helped me out by cutting the onions and stuff, but then he went to see the latest smallville episode where lana becomes a vampire. my only crib was that i had to eat the curry with tortillas, which are not a personal favorite of mine. i could have made some rice, but felt lazy to do that for some reason.

hmmm.... what else - on the research front, i got to use the vacuum chamber this week after a gap of about 2 weeks - my lab-mate was using it then. i will done with my current set of experiments tomorrow and on the weekend can arrange all the data i've obtained till now. and think i can then start analyzing the data and try to write a paper. am kind of pleased since it will be my first publication. and it is coming after about 4 months into my research (with only about 3 weeks of actual experiments).

i've noticed that when i'm not doing any of my actual experiments, my work in the lab is pretty unproductive. its like i don't seem to accomplish anything at all. like in the 2 weeks when i couldn't do my experiments i don't know how i passed that time without actually doing anything of value. heh, but i'm no particular hurry to complete my phd, i tend to allow things to take their own sweet time.

oh ya i just learnt today in the evening that i cleared the 2 written tests (a policy test and a log test) for wrpi. wrpi is this local university radio station. now all i've to do is clear the practical exam and then i'll be cleared to host a show on my own. that reminds me that i skipped both the karate classes this week, because of this cold. maybe i'll try to make it for tomorrow's class and try to catch up on the stuff i missed.

hmm... the remaining honey water is cold by now. so guess thats an indication that i should stop writing.

oh you stoopid mind

guess this is one of those days, where i keep getting ideas on new stuff to post. maybe i'm making up for my short exile. :)
anyways, here goes a poem i just wrote:

"OH YOU STOOPID MIND"

oh you stupid mind - what a fool you are,
and how you've fooled me till date.

you think you know a lot,
you think you are very wise;
but its all half-baked ideas,
picked up from here and there.
and on those flimsy supports,
you build whole castles
of random beliefs and fancy theories.
nothing you know, or ever knew
you can call your own.
yet you cling to those ideas,
like your life depended on it. hah!

you hold on to the past
and keep returning to random memories,
you remember that glance she gave
and the three kind words she said;
you also remember the heartache
and the loneliness when she left.
maybe its fine you remember,
maybe this is whats experience;
but the thing that hurts
is that you won't let me forget!

and also on the other hand
you whisk me into the future,
you take me on these day-dreaming tours -
of people you wish were with me now,
of times filled with joy and love
of things as rosy as can be,
of hope so out of this world;
and then crash back into my present,
and make me sigh and cry
with the want of all the things you showed.

thus you play me like a puppet on strings
and shuffle me from the past to the future
and back, and forth, and back...
never do you stay in this instant
never really aware of what's going on now.
and hence you miss the beauty of this moment,
and then crib there's no joy in the world.

but now i've realized one thing
that you are not indispensable to me,
now i can see life without you
interfering every now and then;
without the ripples you always create
on the surface of my being.

now i've realized that you were
playing games with me all this time,
it was all a make-believe world
which you constructed for your pleasure.
now i've caught a glimpse
of what lies beneath you -
a vast expanse of a silent ocean;
where the past or the future doesn't enter,
where only this moment exists.
where there's no joy or sadness,
just the comfort of love and bliss.

now i know what i need to do
i won't let you cling to the past;
whether it be a happy or a sad story -
i'll just let it go, like i didn't care.
nor let you hope for a better future
however nice it may seem;
cuz i know the present is all there is,
its enough if i live this moment fully.
and i know one day i'll find
that you too will get tired
of all your constant waverings;
and the ripples will eventually cease
leaving the surface calm and bare.

musings on depression

i used to think that the major problems facing people in this world are that of the basic necessities of life - food, water, shelter and clothing. but am realizing more and more that even the financially and materially well-to-do people have their own problems. think the most common problem is depression (both temporary and long-term) because of maybe lost love, lonliness, despair, non-acceptance, things didn't work out etc. or maybe even health related issues.

and when one is depressed - its like one is rebelling against grace or the good things in life. its like one says - my life sucks for this this reason and i want to wallow in this because actually a part of us enjoys being sad and depressed. and we think we are making a statement to "someone out there" that our life is not the way we want it to be.
and one is usually in a state where one starts having a negative attitude towards everything and most things which would normally make us feel better, end up seeming more bitter. one doesn't care to differentiate between people who genuinely care about us and sincerely want to help us and people who say things just for the heck of saying things. we know that being depressed is not good for us and we do want to get over it, but we lack sufficient courage or will to actually do so.

i don't know what can be done about this. i won't say you should do this, try that and don't do that and pick yourselves up and other inspirational stuff, cuz i know unless one is the right frame of mind (read open and receptive - which is obviously hard to come by when one's depressed) all this doesn't make much sense or impact. but i do think that ultimately its in our own hands. it needs a sufficiently strong will or mental effort to tell ourselves that we've had enough of this. i think there is always a specific moment where we actually decide (at some level) that we will no longer be depressed. and this usually comes from some incident that occurs or something one hears or reads and suddenly something clicks and we realize that there is more to life than just our own problems and issues; and then we somehow seem to get the courage to go beyond it too.

the experience might vary from person to person - some can get over depression pretty quickly and others take a longer time. for temporary or short-term depression guess its just a matter of time. eventually the old wounds heal. one thing that would help is trying to keep oneself occupied with other things, and thus not get much time to keep brooding over the past. for long-term depression i don't know. its usually more complicated and there isn't any single reason but a combination of reasons responsible. guess the lives are a bit too imbalanced in such cases and there isn't any particular fix that'll help.

i can only think of one thing which would help in such cases. its the "art of living" course - the one developed by sri sri ravi shankar. it is known to have worked in uncountable such cases, and has no religious inclinations of any sort.

to quote: "This is an interactive workshop of 18 hours spread over 6 days. Extremely effective and revolutionary techniques are taught which help an individual deal with the day-to-day stresses of life, thereby promoting a better quality of life and increased happiness and peace. The highlight of the course is the revitalizing breathing process known as the Sudarshan Kriya®', which releases stress and toxins at the physical, mental and emotional level, promoting better health on all these levels."

one can find out where to take the course here: AOL Centers.

how i spent most of my time

watching "shiri" - yet another oriental movie (korean). it was the last of the movies from netflix, before i put my account on hold.

spending free time

i got up this previous sunday morning with pain in my throat, some dry cough and some body ache. it wasn't that bad, was able to go to lab for the past 2 days, although skipped the karate class on monday. yesterday night the cough became worse, was unable to sleep well, and decided to take half the day off today. have another karate class today, dunno if i can make it.

sometime about last week i put my netflix account on hold. now netflix is this online dvd rental site from where you rent dvds which are sent to you by post. there is just a monthly fee (no late fee), you can watch unlimited movies, and have 3 movies in transit at any time.

now most of my time in the evenings and weekends is spent in either watching movies from netflix or listening to music. don't know what exactly made me put netflix on hold, guess i wanted to take a break from watching movies (i saw 17 movies from netflix in the last 30 days, thats more than 1 movie for every 2 days!); and also see how i would spend my time without it. and i found that i had pretty much nothing else to do. not that i am bored most of the time or passing time has become a real chore. time still flies but can't account that to something specific like watching a movie.

so i thought about what do people usually do in their free time, ie in the evenings and nights:
- guess people who are married are anyways busy with children and other household chores.
- guess people who are in relationships spend time with each other, doing exaclty what - i don't know; but time should pass pretty easily for them.
- guess people who are career or work driven are more or less busy with work even after work hours or too tired to do anything else.
- guess people who are outgoing or have lots of friends spend most of the time outside the house with friends or doing some other outdoor activity.
- guess people whose life revolves around some particular hobby or interest or passion or goal or cause etc. (for eg. social workers or serious researchers) are busy with that.
- guess people who don't fall into any of the above categories (like me) just sit at home and either watch tv or movies, browse the net, listen to music or some other indoor activity. (like cooking)
- guess the above holds only for somewhat affluent families or well to do people, who can afford to do the above things and for whom searching for the next meal is not a major concern.

to blog or not to blog

now, a part of me wants to resume blogging, if nothing else its a way of passing time for me. another part says "why?", a third says "why not?", a fourth part doesn't give a damn, a fifth atleast cares, and a sixth finds this whole thing funny. guess the rest of the voices are too weak to be heard.

firstly there isn't much going on in my life, leave alone interesting stuff, to write about. if this is for my friends and other people to know whats up with me - firstly i don't have very many friends, and the 1 or 2 close ones that i do have, they are in touch with me through either the phone or chats. and i do understand that most people have their own busy lives and are pretty occupied.
also there hasn't been a single comment in my blog in more than 17 posts (i actually counted). well this isn't to say that all my posts are comment-worthy, and i do know that atleast 2/3 people do go through my blog, even if they don't leave any comments. don't think comments are really an issue, maybe i'm just looking for reasons to crib about.

if i were to treat this as a outlet of either my personal happiness/ sadness/ frustrations/ problems/ moments of joy etc. - don't really have much of those too. no major complains with life, its going pretty smoothly - neither very happy nor sad. so nothing much to write about there. and if i were to talk about worldy affairs or interesting stuff or happenings around the world - don't really care about all that, and don't have any particularly strong views on any particular topic. so can't really write about my personal opinions and other preachy stuff.
and if this is for me, as a "timepass", - guess thats how it was before - maybe i am just running out of stuff to post here. most of my posts are anyway borrowed from other sources - lyrics, quotes, movie reviews, pics, some quiz once in while etc. etc. so this is really not a personal blog in that sense.

well to sum up i think i need to decide whether to restart blogging? and if yes, some ideas about what to write.

ps - the above was written while sitting joblessly at my lab desk, while waiting for the pressure to drop in the vacuum chamber.

taking a self-imposed exile from blogsphere for some time;
just want to disappear.......

ps - changed the title of my blog a bit.

before that want to post the lyrics of a song that is easily among my all time top 10; though i can't make much sense of what the lyrics mean.

wish you were here - pink floyd

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here...

its been some time since i posted any hindi lyrics. so here is one of my favorite ghazals, from the movie "saath saath". you can hear the song HERE.

tum ko dehka to yeh khayaal aaya
zindagi dhoop tum ghana saaya.

aaj phir dil ne ik tammana ki
aaj phir dil ko hum ne samjhaaya.

tum chale jaaoge to sochenge
hum ne kya khoya hum ne kya paaya.

hum jise gunguna nahin sakte
waqt ne aisa geet kyon gaaya.

Get to know yourself better.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

am posting the lyrics of one of the songs (my personal favorite) from "back in bedlam" by james blunt. its titled "you're beautiful". you can watch the video HERE.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

recently a friend of mine introduced me to james blunt. he released his debut album titled "back to bedlam", think about a year ago. i liked the songs so much that today i went and bought the cd. this is the first cd i have bought after coming back to the states.

back in baltimore i had bought over a 100 cds, using clubs like bmg, cdhq, columbiahouse and from stores like records&traders (both new and second-hand cds). i was sort of in search of "my kind of sound" and would try to experience different sounding bands and albums. i used to read about new artists and bands, read various reviews and look up every random top 100 chart and all time greats list and try to collect all the best, critically acclaimed music out there. but then towards the end i realized that there is no limit to this, there are so many good bands, both well-known and obscure, with so so many great albums, with new ones being released all the time; that i could never manage to catch up with them all. plus of course if you keep buying cds like that, you burn a pretty deep hole in your pocket.
so i told myself that i would not buy any more cds and had refrained myself from doing so till now - because i was afraid that once i bought even a single cd i wouldn't able to stop there and resume my cd buying spree. but hopefully this will still be a one time affair.

how fall looks in black & white:










ps - these pics were also supposed to be in color like the ones below, but unfortunately while taking them the camera got shifted from the auto mode and i didn't realize that until after uploading the pics onto my powerbook. a pity - they would have looked so much better in colour.

beginnings of fall in troy:

lyrics of the song "long road" by eddie vedder (of pearl jam) and nusrat fateh ali khan, from the soundtrack of "dead man walking".

And I wished for so long, cannot stay...
All the precious moments, cannot stay...
It's not like wings have fallen, cannot stay...
But I feel something's missing, cannot say...

Holding hands are daughters and sons
And their faiths just falling down, down, down, down...
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today

We all walk the long road. Cannot stay...
There's no need to say goodbye...

All the friends and family
All the memories going round, round, round, round
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today

And the wind keeps roaring
And the sky keeps turning gray
And the sun is set
The sun will rise another day...

I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today
How I've wished for so long
How I wish for you today

We all walk the long road.

for some reason i find myself watching more and more oriental movies (ie korean and chinese) these days. some of the recent movies i've seen:

- il mare (korean): about 2 people who somehow are able to correspond with each other over time. the guy lives 2 years in the future. do they ever get to meet?

- chunhyang (korean): think its based on a korean folk tale. its about a girl who undergoes great hardship to maintain fidelity to her husband.

- christmas in august (korean): about a guy who has only a month or more to live and finds that a girl is interested in him.

- twelve nights (korean): covers 12 non-consecutive nights which chronicles the ups and downs of a relationship of a young couple in urban korea.

- to live (chinese): tells the tale of a chinese family over 4 decades (1940s - 80s) over the backdrop of the cultural revolution in china.

- farewell my concubine (chinese): about the friendship between 2 chinese opera stars with 50 years of chinese history in the background.

- the road home (chinese): tale of a simple village girl who falls in love with the village teacher and how she gets the love of her life.

- failan (korean): about a girl who falls in love with her husband whom she's never met, and the husband who finds out too late about it.

- ashes of time (chinese): bittersweet tales of revenge, lost love, betrayal and regret among a group of swordsmen in the desert.

- purple butterfly (chinese): story of two lovers who find themselves on opposite sides of the japan-china war.

- chungking express (chinese): two separate tales of lost love and lonliness involving two police officers in urban china.

- shiri (korean): a korean spy tale involving two cops who are after a female assasin. somewhat like the thrillers bollywood churns out - but without the songs.

one of my favorite trailers: Shopgirl.
love the soundtrack. i know the last song is 'the sound of settling' by 'death cab for cutie' from their 2003 album 'transatlanticism'. don't know the first two. if anyone does do let me know.

Today is the first day of Navratri.

Navaratri is the time of worship of the Divine Mother. Through singing Her glories we pray that She will purify our lives and bring us health, happiness, peace and prosperity.

The nine days of the festival also represent the three stages through which one passes on the spiritual path. During the first three days, the Mother is worshipped in her powerful, destructive, terrifying aspect. Many people, when beginning the spiritual path, have an inherent fear of God; therefore this first phase of Navaratri represents the first stage of a spiritual path. During these three days, the devotee prays to the Mother to use Her destructive power to destroy his imperfections and his faults. He prays for Her to make him pure enough to receive the divine energy. Additionally, this terrifying aspect of the Divine is the one who protects the new spiritual seeker on his path. Thus, the first three days of Navratri are devoted to annihilating the negative tendencies of our minds and hearts.

The second three days of Navaratri are days in which the Mother is worshipped in Her prosperity-bestowing form. Once the negative tendencies have been annihilated, one is ready to begin developing a positive, spiritual personality. These are the days that positive attributes replace the negative attributes which were removed. These days are the worship of Maha Lakshmi, the bestower of prosperity. On the spiritual path, after people overcome the fear of God, they frequently pray for material wealth or external prosperity. They pray for success in their ventures and for the removal of obstructions in their path. The prosperity Maha Laxmi bestows is not merely material prosperity, but it is also all of the qualities which a sincere spiritual seeker craves - calmness, peace, equanimity, compassion, love.

During the last three days, Goddess Saraswati is worshipped as the bestower of true wisdom and understanding. Once the devotee has been purified by Goddess Durga and has had his vices annihilated, and once he has had the spiritual wealth of inner peace, calmness, compassion and love bestowed upon him by Maha Laxmi, then he is ready to receive the true light of understanding. This wisdom can not come unless the devotee has passed through the first two stages. Just as one would not pour divine nectar into an unclean, broken and impure cup, one can similarly not expect to have divine wisdom granted unless the vessel has been purified and made divine.

PS - text taken from www.parmarth.com.

hosted my first radio show today.
there is this local university radio station run by undergrads, called "wrpi at troy". there is an indian show called "melodies of india" which plays every sunday from 10-12. the first hour is a classical musical section and second hour is a popular hindi film/non-film music section. i hosted the second portion and learnt to operate the controls by myself. one can also hear a live streaming version of the radio station at www.wrpi.org.

the songs i played were the following:
1) zindagi jab bhi teri bazm mein (umrao jaan, 1981) - khaiyyam
2) tera mera pyar (tera mera pyar, 2004) - partners in rhyme
3) khilte hain gul yahan (sharmilee, 1971) - s d burman
4) yeh desh hai veer jawanon ka (naya daur, 1952) - o p nayyar
5) thatti thatti (kadhak kondaen, 2003) - yuvan shankar raja {tamil}
6) ladki ki kaathi (masoom, 1983) - r d burman
7) ninne ninne chustu (gharshana, 2004) - harris jayaraj {telugu}
8) seene main jalan (gaman, 1979) - jaidev
9) warriors in peace (between heaven and earth, 2004) - a r rahman
10) na bole tum na maine kuch kaha (baton baton mein, 1979) - rajesh roshan
11) badi mushkil hai (anjaam, 1994) - anand milind
12) aashiq banaya aapne (aashiq banaya aapne, 2005) - himesh reshmiyya

ps - the default language is hindi.